


The Cats Know Better

by Theatrical_Sorrow



Category: Homestuck, Problem Sleuth (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29318802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theatrical_Sorrow/pseuds/Theatrical_Sorrow
Summary: Pickle is out on a cold night when an unexpected call has him staying with his crush for the night, how is he going to handle this?
Relationships: Pickle Inspector/Problem Sleuth
Kudos: 2





	The Cats Know Better

The night is cold, winter having arrived in Midnight City. There will be no snow, not with the desert heat during the day, but once the sun sets the temperatures drop below freezing and send everyone scuttling inside. All except one gangly prospitian, who is trying desperately to shuffle home. Pickle Inspector draws a deep breath, all though it makes his lungs ache. His hands holding his collar up are now numb, and he quickly shoves them back in his pockets.

No, that isn't warm either. Now, his cheeks are freezing. The man hunches his thin shoulders to prop his jacket collar against the wind. A moment later he's stuffing his still bitterly cold fingers under his armpits. The only thing that keeps him going is the thought of a warm cup of tea once he's home. 

There is a loud buzzing by his thigh that startles Inspector from his daydreaming. Who could be calling? He's reluctant to expose his bare carapace to the cold again but he hates to make someone wait. Ducking into an alleyway, sheltered from the wind, he pulls out his cell and answers before he thinks of checking caller ID. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey! PI!" Problem Sleuth's familiar, jovial tone comes through the speaker. "I was just wondering if you made it home yet? I know you were still in yer' office when AD and I left so I just wanted to check on you." Oh... That's very sweet of him. The Inspector had stayed late to finish up some paperwork, which is what had landed him in his current predicament; chilled to the bone, and wishing he'd left while the sun still scorched the streets like the other two.

"I, ah, not yyet.." There's a bit of a stammer to his voice from the cold. 

"Hey, you're not out in this weather, are you?" The way PI let's the silence stretch is answer enough. "Jeez, Pickle! You're gonna freeze out there! Where are ya'?" With a soft sigh the tall prospitian peers out of the cover of the alley's walls to see if he can spot any landmarks. The icy blast of air in his face makes his eyes water. 

"Um, I tthink I see..." He squints and tries to read the signs shrouded in shadow. "Oh! I see the sign for that coffee shop we frequent." 

"That means you're close to my place! Walk down the street a block and it's the big brick apartment on the left." Inspector fumbles with his words a moment. 

"I- ah- Nno, I can make it home, Sleuth you don't have to-" 

"Nonsense, PI, I ain't lettin' my friend get hypo...fuck, uh, hypothermio or whatever-" The Inspector has to hold in his laughter listening to Sleuth stumble as well. "Doesn't matter, I'm just not letting yer' ass become a popsicle, so get over here. Apartment 308, I'll buzz ya' in." He hangs up before there can be any more protest. Inspector is left to blink awkwardly to himself, before popping his phone back into a pocket and scurrying down the street. 

It isn't hard to find, thankfully; the brick is uncharacteristically dark amongst the much more cheery buildings beside it. There's no sense in arguing, or trying to call Sleuth back and convince him he can make it home, so he pulls open the door into a dimly lit entry area. Off white buttons on a panel with names stuck to faded and peeling stickers faces him. He bends in close to examine them and finds the one to 308 and presses it. A low mechanical hum follows and PI scrambles to pull the door open. 

The stairs creak underfoot, a multicolored array of threads making the carpet that covers them. Inspector makes his way up to the third floor and then searches the hall for his friend's room. He's barely knocked when he hears a loud crash from inside, followed by swearing, before Sleuth opens the door. He wears a sheepish smile and gestures for the taller prospitian to enter. 

It is  _ wa _ rm inside. PI breathes a sigh of relief and takes a lungful of air that doesn't sting. Then he squeaks because apparently Sleuth has decided to rather suddenly grab his hands. "Holy fuck,you're an icicle!" He exclaims. Without hesitance he cups his smaller, but broader, hands around his friend's. Unbeknownst to him, said friend is now having a slight crisis. 

_ He's warm too _ . It feels nice, the heat radiating from Sleuth's palms across Inspector's bony digits. He swallows and thinks about pulling away, but he excuses that he  _ needs _ the extra warmth, even with how awkward he feels. It only lasts a few more seconds though; the sorrow he feels when Sleuth pulls away immediately sets off alarm bells.  _ No, stop that.  _

"I forgot! I made some hot cocoa for you!" He disappears through a doorway and comes back a moment later with a still steaming mug. He's got that million watt smile that never ceases to make Inspector's chest tighten. As he takes the mug there's the sound of something falling onto carpet and a loud meow. He has a cat? 

Sleuth hurries to the other room, followed by his friend, and PI nearly drops the cocoa out of surprise.  _ Make that several cats. _ The detective is darting around gathering the lumps of fur into his arms like little ragdolls. "Sorry! These girls can be a bit jumpy about new people, well, by new people I mean any person that's not me." It's strange to see the normally charismatic man so awkward and nervous. He has a total of 5 cats clinging to his sleeves before one wiggles lose and breaks them all free. 

Inspector can't help a small giggle hearing Sleuth grumble to himself. But, the sudden smile he gets fixed with quickly shuts the laughter up in favor of his face heating with flush.  _ Oh fuck _ ,  _ why is he so handsome. _ It was a terrible idea to come here. "You still need to warm up!" Before the Inspector can say otherwise the smaller man takes his hand and drags him over to the couch. He sits him down, snatches a blanket from a nearby chair, and drapes it around the others bony shoulders. "There!" 

Now he has cocoa and a blanket, and as he takes a sip the feeling starts coming back to his limbs. Only thing that could make it better would be- "Wait! I bet some of my body warmth could help too!" Sleuth lifts one side of the blanket and slips under, pressing his body against Inspector's.  _ Oh no.  _ An arm snakes around the taller's waist and he nearly squeaks and yanks away. "Is it helping?" The blood from flushing it sends pumping through Inspector's body sure does warm him up. 

"Yyeah..." 

"Good!" There's that blinding smile again. A fluffy white kitty hops up onto the cushions next to them. "That one's Bella," he answers the question before his friend can ask it. "She likes scratches under her chin." Encouragement to pet her. Well, PI has a special weakness for cute animals, and cats are no exception. He reaches out and lets her sniff at his hand. The immediate purr and bump against his fingers makes him chirp happily. He's too busy petting the girl's beautiful white coat to notice the slight squeeze Sleuth's arm does around his waist. 

There's several minutes of silence, only broken by the sips Inspector takes of cocoa, and Bella's loud purring as she settles into the skinny detective's lap. He can feel the way Sleuth is trying to not bounce his leg and disturb the moment. His affectionate smile is directed at the cat to avoid embarrassment though. "Where did all the cats come from?" Inspector breaks the quiet first. 

"All of them are either off the street or from the shelter," He explains. "Muffy is the tortoiseshell over there, found her behind the agency on a day where-" Sleuth rambles on about each cat's name, and honestly Inspector only hears half of it cause he's watching the way the smaller prospitian lights up. He finds out there are six cats in total, and with each addition his heart only melts more. He hasn't even noticed he's leaning against Sleuth. 

"-and you should probably stay here-" Wait, where did PI get lost? What is Sleuth talking about? The slow blink the Inspector gives his friend has him backing up; he's used to the occasional zoning out. "I was just saying that since it's not gonna warm up till morning you should probably just stay the night."

_ Oh, fucking- wait, are you leaning on Sleuth?!?  _ An internal war rages between 'I need to move immediately' and 'if i move now it might get awkward, but it's comfortable' for the poor Inspector.  _ He just asked you to stay the night, you idiot.  _ How was he supposed to turn that down? 

"I should try and get home tonight, Sleuth, I've wasted enough of your time-" 

"Nonsense! Any time with you is far from wasted!" Sleuth squeezes his arm around PI and the taller man gasps softly. "Besides, I'm not about to let you back out to freeze when there's room for you to stay!" Denying his flushed feelings for the shorter prospitian is hard enough without him being kind and cute like this.

"Are you sure?" His own question surprises him- is he really going to accept that he's going to stay at Sleuth's? Inspector takes this as an opportunity to finally pull away and sit up again. 

  
  


"Of course I am." Bella meows and stretches, hopping out of PI's lap. "Looks like I gotta feed the girls, but we can set the couch up for you to sleep on afterwards if you want?"  _ Thank Godhead.  _

"That would be nice." Inspector hides the relief( _ noyou'renotdissapointedyouwon'tsharethebedwithSleuthshutup) _ he feels knowing he's taking the couch. He stands and glances around nervously, holding his now empty mug to his chest. 

"Kitchen is straight through the doorway," Sleuth comments as he reads his friend's mind once again. Inspector nods and heads that way while Sleuth pulls out a bag of cat food. The chorus of meows that follow is quite amusing. PI glances over his shoulder and giggles to himself before leaving the room. Once in the kitchen he goes over and washes the mug in the sink, setting it in the dish drainer to dry. Sleuth joins him a moment later. "You hungry at all? Thirsty?" 

"I think I'm good..." 

"All right, then I'll go get you some clothes." He's gone before PI can process. He's getting clothes? For-  _ he's grabbing  _ **_his_ ** _ clothes for  _ **_you_ ** _ to sleep in.  _ Inspector's face burns from the flush that overtakes it. Thankfully, its a good minute or two before Sleuth comes back out with them, so he can work on calming down. "I know they might be a bit short on you but they'll be more comfy than your suit!" The taller just nods his thanks and swallows roughly as he's directed to the bathroom.

_ They smell like him _ . It's that earthy, grounding scent mixed with the faint trace of a minty cologne he's caught whenever he's stood close to the other. The inspector is slow to undress, folding each piece and setting it on the counter as it comes off, until he's down to his boxer briefs. The second he pulls the t-shirt over his head he notices that, indeed, the clothes are a bit short on him: the hem only reaches a few inches below his chest plates. Are the pants even worth it to try? They end up not fitting, and PI shuffles out in the shirt and his boxers awkwardly, arms resting around his exposed midriff. 

"Off the couch girls! I need you to sleep elsewhere tonight!" Inspector re-enters the living room to find Sleuth attempting to get  _ all six cats _ off of his offered bed. He lifts one, sets them on the ground, and as he grabs another the first one races to take their spot back. Their lounging makes it impossible for anyone to take even one cushion. "Augh! I love you girls but sometimes-" He notices his friend and turns to him with a pout. "I'm sorry they've taken the couch, we could share my bed if that was all right, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable..." 

How many internal wars can Pickle Inspector have in one night? Apparently several. Does he accept the offer to sleep in bed with Sleuth? Or does he panic and insist on going home again? "Sleuth, I like you."  _ Well that wasn't supposed to happen. _

"I like you too, PI, why is that-" 

"No I  _ like _ you, Sleuth." The two stare at each other in a silence that just keeps dragging on. Fear brings Inspector to break it first. "I don't- I mean- That's why I don't want tto-" 

"Oh, in that case I still like you too." He's.. Smiling? It's kind of a half smile, half grimace as if he's also feeling nervous, but it's a smile. Inspector just blinks at him with his wide, black eyes. "So... Do you want to sleep in the bed with me?" 

"Yes." 

PI is not entirely sure how he got here- there was some quick movement, and a hand around his wrist pulling him down the hall- but he has his thin arms wrapped around Sleuth's shoulders and a leg slung over his hip as he rests their foreheads together. A quiet purr rumbles in his chest, not nearly as loud as Sleuth's. The smaller prospitian rests his hands on his friend(?)s waist. 

"So, how long have you been dancing around that?" Sleuth chuckles. 

".... a while." But really, Inspector couldn't really care less, he's just happy he hasn't ruined their friendship. "Can I..." Of course, he's still nervous as his gaze flitters between the other eyes and lips. Sleuth answers by kissing him softly. 

They could talk more in the morning, for now, PI wants to enjoy this closeness. He kisses back and chirps, a smile curving his lips. Sleepiness settles over him like the blanket that Sleuth tugs up around their shoulders. He rests his head on the other's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. An unexpected outcome for the night, but not one that is unwelcome. He falls asleep listening to Sleuth hum a tune he can't name, but that feels familiar all the same. 


End file.
